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Things Giving Wings to My Heart This Week

It’s been a lovely, lovely weekend and soon I will tell you all about it, but today I just want to share some things that have done wonders in cheering my heart in the hopes that they might cheer yours as well. XO

This little girl who arrived in the world yesterday afternoon. Her sister didn’t make it but she did and just seeing her little stalwart survivor self wobbling about makes me smile and take courage.

This gorgeous post on what people really look like. Hint: “Women have cellulite, men have silly buttocks.”

http://dalefavier.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/what-people-really-look-like.html?spref=tw

This handful of wildflowers picked at sunset while I was meandering with my goats. Now it’s on my kitchen table in a tiny blue vase making me smile whenever I go in the kitchen.

This 3-part series that has brought inestimable healing to my heart and the hearts of many who have suffered spiritual abuse of any kind. I feel like there must be sunbeams shooting out of my heart because it feels so light now.

http://journeyfree.org/rts/rts-its-time-to-recognize-it/

This beautiful little creature who got himself stuck in a water bucket before I happened along to rescue him. I felt like I must’ve stumbled into Brambly Hedge. 🙂

This post by the wonderful Anne Lamott:

“A dear friend has a grievous skin condition that has not yet been probably diagnosed, and she is in the deepest rashy misery every day, especially at several peaks hours. Her whole back looks so painful that you want to start scratching it for her; plus shoot her up with a little cool and refreshing morphine. It may be dreaded Japanese river rash.

Her doctor will eventually figure out what it is and be able to treat it but in the meantime, nothing helps, she could open a thriving black market in prescription unguents, although she is a Nana of 70ish–let’s say fifty-21 and may not your black market typo. She is deeply spiritual and active in her mental and psychological health, with a rich self of humor, yet she feels terrible about feeling so terrible. She’s feels guilty.

She said, “I have friends who are coming through chemo, whose bodies have been ravaged, yet they manage to say positive and grateful. So I am trying to keep it in perspective.”

I said, “I am not heavily into perspective at this time. Please call again during regular office hours. In the meantime, it’s awful to hurt and itch at this level every day. I do not accept it on your behalf. It’s a nightmare. I am going to file a brief itch the complaints department.”

She laughed, but said, “It could be so much worse. I have a friend with melanoma, and another who has shingles. Mine will pass.”

I said, “Stop! That is crazy talk. Suffering is suffering.”

How did we get so brainwashed that we can’t even say, “I am climbing out of my skin; and I hate this, and I need extreme comfort right now, even though that may not be convenient for everyone else in this family?” And how do we get back the right and ability to care for ourselves when we are very down and uncomfortable, the way we would for a friend–the way you would take care of me–even though 90% of the world may be in worse shape?

We just do. We start our new 24 hours over NOW. We cannot take care of others from a true and profound place if we blow ourselves off. It’s just the way it is. We can offer what we have: an apricot tree can offer apricots.

Yet, it is so radical to insist on the right to our own care and rest and love and aid. It breaks the contract we signed at 4 years old, to take care of everyone else in the family first, especially dad and then to make do with whatever was left; PLUS, in general, not to have any needs at all.

So it is an act of disloyalty, and there will be payback, and if we stop the train to get help, the long bony finger will appear in the sky, pointing at us, and saying, “You know the rules.”

So here’s my plan: this Facebook page will be available for everyone to complain about stuff their families said they must suck up, or stuff their husbands or children or girlfriends make them feel ashamed about.

We take the action, that we are worthy of being heard and deeply cared for, and then–and only then–the insight will follow. That if someone is suffering, see if you can. If someone is thirsy, get him or her a glass of water, even if it is you.

So for today, 1) feel free to mewl and puke and spew here about how the last few days have been a nightmare or how much your feet hurt a lot of the time, even though you know that amputees do have it much worse, or how much you hate hate hate your current weight, or what an absolute asshat your son has been lately, or how scary you just find all of life on earth some days, and how you can’t get your Internet working and have been on the line with snotty tech support for so long that you may have had a nervous breakdown. will read every single post, and believe complainy-spoiled-overly-sensitive old me, I will GET it.

2). Baby yourself, all day. Radical self care, naps and lotion on the Auntie thighs and maybe too many scrambled eggs and also a basket of raspberries that possibly could feed a family of three for the day, and the new issue of People, or the new Mary Oliver collection.

Okay? Start your engines. I want to hear some nice juicy complaints: for instance, I was on planes and at airports and in cars for 22 of the last 36 hours, a flight got delayed and i missed a connection and I was trapped at the Newark airport forever, and was completely bitter and enraged, even though I got paid for my lecture in Richmond and sold lots of books, and got to be a writer when I grew up.

SEE?

You can do it. I’ll be right here.”

Are there any quotes, stories, experiences, or people who’ve cheered your heart this week? I’d love to hear about them.

XO

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Jeanne Horak - Oh wow – that mouse pic is awesome! He must have been glad to see you… Love the wobbly baby goat but most of all I love the link to the massage therapist post – utterly uplifting!

Krista - I haven’t heard of that, @thefisherlady:disqus , but I will mention it to Bear and see if we can find some for our littles. 🙂 Nuzzling a baby sounds like a lovely idea. 🙂 xo

Krista - Hard times are hard times – exactly, @breannemosher:disqus I’m so glad you get to have some restorative moments before bed. XO

thefisherlady - The little girl goat~ such a lovely doe~ I was sorry to hear her sister didn’t make it. Do you have “New Cells injectable” ? For a baby goat about 3 cc (ml) in a back leg muscle. It takes about twenty minutes (also syringe first milk as a trickle down the throat into one too weak to suck~ even just 6cc at first) to revive a goat~ sort of jump starts them to try again at everything. Amazing stuff. Also good for any animal that is stressed and goes downhill and needs a boost…. immune system boost. If they are just born weak sometimes it is white muxcle disease because of a selenium deficiency… a small dose of Vit E/ selenum brings them through it.
I love your mouse friend~ such an amazing photo with the water reflection~ I am always saving those little guys~
Peace to you Krista~ amazing isn’t it how much beauty all around us there is.

I am sorry about your history of religious abuse~ true faith lived out in love is something so very different.
nuzzle a baba for me~ bury your nose right into their nape of the neck by the ears and breathe slow and deep~ I sometimes think God made these little animals just so I could snuggle. They smell so very wonderful these first days!

I’m not so good at complaining~ I find it is easier to just put on socks when the feet are cold 🙂 blessings dear friend

Breanne @ This Vintage Moment - Oh, that mouse IS adorable. Definitely a Brambly Hedge moment. =) It’s been a rough day here and these words helped a lot. No comparison, hard times are hard times. Thank-you for the deep breath. Now for a hot cuppa and a bath. XO

Krista - I’m so glad you understand, @OrgasmicChef:disqus XO I don’t know where it comes from either, but I LOVE getting better at taking care of myself AND my people. No one should be left out. 🙂

Krista - I love that so, so, so much, @katyabroad:disqus XO You are so right. The other is VERY stressful but this?? THIS is real and good and sigh…so freeing and peaceful. 🙂 Thank you, darling. XOXO

katyabroad - Just gorgeous, Krista! It does look like you’ve wandered into Brambly Hedge! My favourite quote at the moment, as life continues to do its own sweet thing, pulling me along in its wake, is ‘it’s not good, it’s not bad, it just happened’. It takes all the stress and fear out of it. I’m veering away from the ‘it’s all happening for a reason’; because it’s so full of expectation and so demanding, whereas ‘it just happened’ is simple and calming.

Maureen | OrgasmicChef - This post spoke to me because I’ve done the same thing. I haven’t rested when I should because I felt guilty that my work wasn’t done or dinner wouldn’t be prepared for John’s dad or the laundry wasn’t done every day and the bed wasn’t changed on schedule. I don’t know where this guilt comes from but it is ridiculous the things we do to ourselves.

Krista - I don’t know what they’re called, @lizposmyk:disqus , but I think they look like blue stars. 🙂

Liz Posmyk - Your wildflowers are so beautiful, Krista…. what are the blue ones?

Krista - Oh, dear @132fe8be674f43d4508b19c8db8df791:disqus , I’m so sorry you’ve been sick all week! That sounds awful! I’m very happy this post resonated with you today. 🙂 It did my heart no ends of good too. XOXO

Krista - The babies are an absolute delight, @sarahkenney:disqus 🙂 I can sit and watch them for hours they’re so hilarious and cute. 🙂

Kitchen Butterfly - After 5 days in bed with the flu, this cheered me up to bits. This breakdown, this self-confession. I LOVE Anne Lammot. I laughed so hard in Bird by Bird. Thanks for sharing the wonderful photos.

Sarah Kenney - I love how you find so much joy on your farm. It would be so much fun to visit and play with those little goats for real. And that little mouse…precious.

Krista - Thank you so much, @vannessaluxuria:disqus 🙂 Isn’t the little goat a beauty? 🙂 I’m so glad she is thriving in spite of her rocky start. Wishing you a great week too. XO

Vannessa@Luxuria - Lovely uplifting post Krista. So love the first image of your new baby kid 😉
It’s amazing how we can find joy in the small things around us. Thank you for that lovely reminder.
Have a wonderful week xx

Krista - I’m afraid I’d never heard of Mary Oliver until today, @bcdeb9873aa58892d29aa565c71353f5:disqus , but if you AND Anne are recommending her, she must be fantastic. 🙂

Hila - “or the new Mary Oliver collection”: yes! I’m all for that 😉

Krista - I agree completely, @4051406338aaef5dd8bf9775f8ab662d:disqus !! Where the dickens does it go? I start each day thinking I’ll have oodles of time to do everything I need/want to, then suddenly it’s 5 p.m. and Bear is pulling in the driveway and I think, “How the heck did that happen?” 🙂

Krista - What a fantastic time, @disqus_YrfmmrEUVU:disqus ! 🙂 It makes me smile just thinking about it. 🙂 I had some dear friends over this weekend too and it totally made my day. 🙂

Velva-Tomatoes on the Vine - My compliant….There is not enough hours in the day to do all the things that I enjoy.

Jeri - I celebrated my birthday by making a luncheon for six of the women who have been my kind, supportive “Friends In Real Life” this year. We had yummy food, colorful flowers, fragrant candles, and lots of happy girly conversation. ‘Twas a lovely afternoon and it gave me delight to have my friends meet each other!

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