Rain is falling softly as I alternate sips of red wine and Earl Grey tea and rest on this stormy afternoon.
I’m in the “worse before better” stage of my treatment and it’s been a rough week. A really rough week. Yet somehow, even during these awful days, little things happen that make this worse-ness so much better.
One such thing happened for me.
I was in my little country home town waiting for my doctor’s appointment. I had packed a picnic lunch for myself – tomato salad with fresh buffalo mozzarella, a homemade brownie for dessert – and I carried my bags to a nearby picnic table so I could sit in the winter sunshine and soak up delicious warmth.
I pulled out my journal because, well, it was just one of those days. A day when you feel so utterly miserable that normally manageable things become quite intolerable and it takes a fair bit of effort not to mire down in loneliness and sadness and a rather murky puddle of woe-is-me-ness.
So there I sat hiding my tear-filled eyes behind large sunglasses, writing down soul-invigorating truths in fierce strokes:
You are loved.
You are OK.
You’re going to be OK.
And suddenly a black and white kitten hopped up beside me, sat down on his haunches, and stared at me long and earnestly.
He was so serious that I felt like was being analyzed and it made me laugh. Nothing like a strange cat staring into your soul to jolt you out of sadness.
Finally, appearing to have assured himself that this strange human wasn’t going to lose it after all, he curled up beside me and stayed there until my doctor’s appointment.
It was the loveliest thing.
And I didn’t realize how lovely until a man appeared and asked, “Is he bothering you?” I assured him the cat was most welcome, but the man remained there for a moment or two longer, a puzzled look on his face.
He then explained that the cat was his and that he normally spends all day every day snoozing by the sun-drenched fence at their house.
Neither of us knew why he chose this day to break his routine and spend an hour with a weepy, sick girl on a park bench, but I’m so glad he did.
He made a bad day so much better.
Now I get to look forward to a beautiful weekend with my Bear. We’ve got movies and brownies and stove top popcorn and coffee all the way from dear friends in Germany.
What are you looking forward to?