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Cults and Comfort Food

As a girl it was desperately important to me to have the holidays go as they were “supposed to.” I wanted all our family with me, all our traditions intact, and I would dissolve into tears if things weren’t just right. Oddly, they were tears of grief, not frustration, as if something precious had been lost, never to be recovered. The happiest times in my life revolved around those traditions and when something upset them I felt the loss deeply.

I wanted to preserve and remember every joyous moment. I wrote copiously in my journal documenting everything and when I got a camera I snapped away capturing brothers, cousins and friends in our mirth and jollity. And I collected water every New Year’s Eve. That’s right. Water. Heaven only knows where that idea sprouted from, but every year just before midnight I would fill one of Mum’s empty jars with water from that year, seal it, label it carefully and set it on a shelf in my room. I was a funny little creature. πŸ™‚

Safe in the cocoon of my family the holidays were beautiful, chock full of happy traditions that we all love to this day. But then I grew up, left home and life happened. There were beautiful moments, yes, lots of them, but also searing pain that made the hurt of a missed tradition seem like Christmas in comparison.

As a teenager I found myself in a religious cult masquerading as a Christian ministry. They promised to provide a home-away-from-home where we could safely be trained in all sorts of good things. They lied. The years that followed are mostly a blank to me now, punctuated by memories of abuse, neglect and brain-washing. When my parents realized what was happening – they’d been lied to as well – they were horrified and did everything they could to protect and restore my shattered heart and body.

For years I couldn’t face what happened there, but three years ago I couldn’t hide from it anymore and it hit me like a tidal wave. The time since then has been one of deepest darkness for me, mind-numbing pain, incapacitating fear, and boiling rage towards God and my abusers. I wanted desperately to just die but something inside wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t let the bad guys win.

So I fought back, trying to find something beautiful each day to delight in – fairy lights, a good book, herb garden, new song, and wonderful food. I found safe friends, safe family who loved me, cried with me, and told me I was going to be OK. That I was OK. I stopped feeling guilty for despising the Old God. He was despicable.

A brave friend and fellow cult survivor encouraged me to write, to blog. I couldn’t for a while, I was too scared, my emotions too raw, but one day, just when I needed it, the bravery came. I started this little blog, ramblingtart, and began to write, and write, and write. I met other bloggers and as I read and as I wrote my heart expanded and I saw that life really was beautiful, hopeful, and happy again.

I wasn’t in the darkness anymore.

So this New Year’s Eve I abandoned all tradition. No party, no cork-popping at midnight, just me, my folks, Brit murder mysteries and comfort food. It was perfect. πŸ™‚

Mums and I made Poutine – our favoritest Canadian comfort food of all time: French fries topped with mozzarella cheese, beef gravy and LOTS of black pepper. AMAZING! πŸ™‚ Pops brought us “bubble water” aka – Perrier- Eggnog, Salt and Vinegar chips, and German Chocolate Little Debbie cookies. πŸ™‚ We got cozy under quilts and watched Inspector Lynley mysteries until we were too tired to stay up any longer. Then we hugged good bye, I drove home, sat in my bed and wrote by fairy light, tears streaming down my smiling face as I reflected on this horrible, beautiful year.

Happiest of New Year’s, dear ones! May this year be filled with love, beauty and sunshine. I love you all. πŸ™‚

Slather with hot gravy, sprinkle lavishly with pepper and enjoy! πŸ™‚

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RamblingTart - sarah said…

Krista, My heart aches for you and all of us that went through those dark years. I know that I was not part of the darkest times – God spared me that pain – but my husband struggled through deep emotions brought on by those days and influences and God has given him a strength and peace beyond his wildest imaginings. The nightmare is over, but there are still repercussions. God help us all to give up the ashes of a dark past and embrace the beauty God has for us in his TRUTH! Praise the Lord for real, freeing Truth! Love you, friend.
January 1, 2010 11:41 AM

FlowerLady said…

I am so sorry that you were abused by a Christian group. It does happen, but, they are not the true representation of God. As you said, God is Love and Love is God. We are saved by His GRACE not our works which are as filthy rags.

May this year be one of peace, love, light and truth, one for you to grow and blossom in.

Each day is a new gift from God. He loves and cares for us deeply. May you feel His strength flowing through you so that you may mount up with wings as eagles.

Hugs ~ FlowerLady
January 1, 2010 1:18 PM

Trish said…

Krista,

What a beautiful, honest post. You had me in tears. I am so proud of you and just so excited to see what 2010 has for your life. (And this pics are making me starving hungry!) I’m so glad you had a wonderful NYE and hope you know how much you are loved and appreciated!

Love you.
January 1, 2010 2:54 PM

Rambling Tart said…

Thank you so much, Sarah – your words made me cry and smile. πŸ™‚ Beauty for ashes sounds like the best trade ever, and I’ll take it! πŸ™‚ Much love to you.
January 1, 2010 9:06 PM

Rambling Tart said…

Your hugs and words were such a comfort today, dear Flower Lady. πŸ™‚ Thank you with all my heart. πŸ™‚
January 1, 2010 9:07 PM

Rambling Tart said…

Ah, Trish, you’ve got me cryin’ again – what a puddle of happy tears I am today! πŸ™‚ Love you so much and don’t know what I would’ve done this year without you. HUGE hug to you with heaps of love! πŸ™‚
January 1, 2010 9:08 PM

Irene said…

You are so amazing to share this with others. My wish for you in 2010 is for peace and healing. You sound like you have made yourself the master of your fate and the captain of your soul, as the poem goes. I think as we get older, we understand more and more that it’s not traditions, but it’s people that are precious. So glad you got to hang with your parents. By the way, Brit mysteries are the best!
January 1, 2010 9:13 PM

Rambling Tart said…

Thank you for such a beautiful wish for me, Irene. I have great hope that it will come to pass. πŸ™‚ Happy New Year, dear lady πŸ™‚
January 1, 2010 11:02 PM

Not Quite Nigella said…

So sorry to hear of your troubles. I hope that 2010 is a sunny, gorgeous year for you! And poutine is something I’ve always wanted to try so your NYE sounds just about perfect! πŸ˜€
January 2, 2010 4:12 AM

Joanne said…

I can’t believe you went through all of this Krista. One of my friends grew up in a cult and it was one of the hardest experiences of her life to get out of it and re-enter the “real” world. I can only imagine what you have endured. You are incredibly strong and I just know this year will be filled with great things for you.

Thanks for always being so sweet and for being such an awesome blogger friend. Hopefully someday we can meet in real life….I think we’d hit it off!

The poutine sounds amazing. I’ve read about it before on Closet Cooking and bookmarked it…but haven’t actually made it yet. Definite comfort food though!
January 2, 2010 4:50 AM

Rambling Tart said…

Thank you, Lorraine. πŸ™‚ I feel much freedom and hope in my heart and really do think it will be a beautiful year. Hope you like the Poutine πŸ™‚
January 2, 2010 9:44 AM

Rambling Tart said…

Oh, Joanne, I can understand how hard it is for your friend and wish I could give her a big hug. We have such huge gaps of cultural experience and knowledge, and after being controlled and manipulated for years, we have to learn who we are too. It’s like being high school in your late twenties and thirties. πŸ™‚

But we’ll make it! πŸ™‚ We can’t let those buggers win. As a friend of mine from that world said yesterday, “They may have stolen our pasts, but they can’t have our futures.” I love that. πŸ™‚

I would LOVE to meet you in real life! πŸ™‚ Hopefully one day soon πŸ™‚
January 2, 2010 9:48 AM

{lauryl} said…

Krista, your honesty in writing this brings tears to my eyes. To this day I have difficulty thinking or talking about “the dark years.” It’s only in the past couple years, with the encouragement of my husband, that I’ve been able to admit that I was raised in a cult, and that that cult destroyed my understanding of God. But I love that you said you couldn’t let the bad guys win. Me neither. Every day I am grateful for the life I now lead, despite years and years and years of spiritual abuse. I’m free now, and FREEDOM is a beautiful, beautiful thing!
January 2, 2010 11:55 AM

Sweet and Savory said…

It is interesting. I have an impression of you and in a million years, I would never have seen you in such a situation. My heart breaks with everyone else’s.

You have proven through this blog how much of a survivor you are and give hope to all of us for the challenges in our life.

Blogging has power and you have just proven it. Sharing yourself with such honesty will affect others and hopefully bring them to better places.

Thank you for being such a special loving person.
January 3, 2010 12:48 AM

Rambling Tart said…

Dear Lauryl, I’m so glad you have such a good man to love you and be a safe place for you to find true, glorious freedom! You have brought so much beauty into this world and I hope you keep doing so for many, many years to come. πŸ™‚
January 3, 2010 2:29 PM

Rambling Tart said…

Oh Chaya, thank you for your words. They were like a hug and have me all teary and comforted. Thank you.
January 3, 2010 2:30 PM

Ellie said…

What a touching post. I wish you nothing but the very best in 2010! This is the ultimate comfort food to start the year πŸ™‚
January 3, 2010 2:47 PM

Rambling Tart said…

Thank you, dear Ellie! πŸ™‚ I wish you the very same! πŸ™‚
January 3, 2010 4:03 PM

Y said…

Oh wow, it’s amazing that you could share this, and fantastic that writing your blog has helped you grow stronger as a person. Wishing you many more good things for the new year.
January 3, 2010 4:11 PM

Genevieve Ferraro said…

I’m so happy you shared this! My brother went through something similar and has not yet returned to church. Thanks so much for your courage to write and show us that hard times can be overcome.

May all good things come to you in the New Year!
January 3, 2010 4:51 PM

Rambling Tart said…

Thank you so much, Y. πŸ™‚ I was so scared to write it, but feel a huge weight off me now. πŸ™‚
January 3, 2010 6:57 PM

Rambling Tart said…

I ache for your brother, Genevieve. I still struggle so much but am content to have a simple faith that resonates with my heart. It was very hard for me to write about these things, but I feel like a burden has been lifted, darkness parted, and I’m so glad I did. πŸ™‚ I hope your brother finds healing, comfort and much joy.
January 3, 2010 6:58 PM

Julia said…

I’m so sorry to hear of your tragedy. Sadly, more than a few of my students have told me similar stories — some of their families were literally ruined by such experiences. But I’m so glad to see you facing your fears, moving forward, and celebrating life. Bad things always happen, but it’s up to us to open ourselves to ALL experiences and choose to become better people, not worse, because of them.

Cheers to you, Rambling Tart!
xx
January 3, 2010 7:44 PM

Rambling Tart said…

Thanks so much for your encouragement, Julia! πŸ™‚ You cheered me right up this evening. πŸ™‚ I love your reminder to stay open, come what may, and press on in our pursuit of goodness no matter what. πŸ™‚
January 3, 2010 7:52 PM

corine said…

Reading your story confirms my theory that some people can’t be brought down by even the worst hardships, while others (me perhaps?) tedn to fall apart at the slightest bump on the road. I am inspired!
January 3, 2010 8:24 PM

Rambling Tart said…

Ohhhh, I’m so glad you’re inspired Corine. πŸ™‚ Trust me, I’ve done plenty of falling apart. I think we’re strong because we keep getting up again. πŸ™‚
January 3, 2010 9:22 PM

Dustjacket Attic said…

Oh honey I cannot begin to imagine what you must have got through, you are SO courageous and brave.

On a lighter note there is nothing better than a Brit murder mystery .. Lynley was a good one and some great comfort food….excellent way to say goodbye to the past and Hello to the future.

Big hug Sweetie,
xxx
January 3, 2010 9:44 PM

Rambling Tart said…

Thank you so much for the big hug, DJ. It came just when I really needed it. Funny how you can write something like this and feel so brave, and then after it’s written you’re an absolute puddle. But I’ll buck up, and press on, and be brave. It’s a New Year. πŸ™‚
January 4, 2010 11:11 PM

Kevin and Sheree said…

Thank you. For your courage. For your refreshing honesty. And for how you’ve allowed the pain and tears in your life to become a well watered spring in the desert of other people’s lives! You are beautiful and I can’t tell you how much I enjoy this blog on your life and food. I’m so amateur when it comes to culinary things but you inspire me! I would love to sit at your table to not only enjoy your tasty delights but to delight in your soul:) Maybe one day Friend…
January 6, 2010 9:22 AM

Rambling Tart said…

My dear Reesha, thank you so much for this note. I really needed it today, and felt your love and support so strongly. πŸ™‚ I would love so much to sit at any table anywhere with you. You are my dear kindred spirit no matter how many years and miles separate us. Love you.
January 6, 2010 11:38 AM

darci said…

my dear old (and by that i mean my friend from years past, not elderly!) friend,
I saw your post on facebook, went to read it, saw the link and ended up here. I do not know what you experienced-those years were years that you and i lost our way in friendship, i think..i’m so sorry i wasn’t ‘there’ foryou , even long distance. i am committing to praying for you, for healing. years later, i still love you krista my friend. darci πŸ™‚
January 14, 2010 9:13 AM

Rambling Tart said…

My dear, dear Darci. πŸ™‚ Thank you SO much for your words today. Yes, those were our lost years, and I am so, so happy we have found each other again. Thank you for praying for me. I am healing, even though it seems so slow sometimes. πŸ™‚ I love you too! So much. πŸ™‚
January 14, 2010 9:49 PM

jerusha said…

And I must tell you, Krista, that your family offered me glimmers of light even in that darkness–little reminders of the joie de vivre that God made us for. Hooray for surviving. The Sun of righteousness has healing in His wings!
January 15, 2010 9:32 AM

Rambling Tart said…

Thank you for telling me that, Jerusha! I’m so glad that we were a light instead of darkness – that makes my heart happy. πŸ™‚ Much love to you! πŸ™‚ I’m so glad you’re on this side of the darkness with me. πŸ™‚
January 15, 2010 6:15 PM

SEA said…

Krista! One of the things I’ve pondered most “post-cult” is the same thing that stands out to me most whenever I’ve wandered over to your facebook page or now to your blog… and that is *beauty.* It was something that the “cult” couldn’t really account for or fully appreciate, even though it snuck in here and there, and it is certainly something that overflows from you. To see, to love, and to enjoy, simply for itself, a beautiful thing, moment, or object is a gift all its own. Congrats on the beautiful way you revel in the beauty! Our Creator made a beautiful world for us to enjoy, and in that we rejoice.
January 21, 2010 12:43 AM

Rambling Tart said…

Thank you, SEA – whoever you are. πŸ™‚ Your words came at the perfect time to comfort and cheer me tonight. πŸ™‚ I raise my glass with you to beauty! Big hug to you. πŸ™‚
January 21, 2010 10:21 PM

Karen said…

Oh Krista. I read your blogs as I can and have had a bit of a crazy month and so I haven’t read much lately. I somehow ended here. My fellow Anne of Green Gables lover. How many hours and sleepovers did we spend watching that movie – recorded from t.v. πŸ™‚ I am so sad for you and the pain you have gone through. Your honesty of learning to love and know God and yourself is an amazing thing. I pray that you will continue to heal and love and grow. Much love my old friend. πŸ™‚
February 4, 2010 9:51 AM

Rambling Tart said…

Dearest Karen, I just saw your post today – thank you SO much for your words. I’m so happy you have a blog and I will be following you now. πŸ™‚ SO many sleepovers and movie night memories – wonderful memories. πŸ™‚ Love you too!
February 26, 2010 10:34 PM

RamblingTart - sarah said…

Krista, My heart aches for you and all of us that went through those dark years. I know that I was not part of the darkest times – God spared me that pain – but my husband struggled through deep emotions brought on by those days and influences and God has given him a strength and peace beyond his wildest imaginings. The nightmare is over, but there are still repercussions. God help us all to give up the ashes of a dark past and embrace the beauty God has for us in his TRUTH! Praise the Lord for real, freeing Truth! Love you, friend.
January 1, 2010 11:41 AM
FlowerLady said…

I am so sorry that you were abused by a Christian group. It does happen, but, they are not the true representation of God. As you said, God is Love and Love is God. We are saved by His GRACE not our works which are as filthy rags.

May this year be one of peace, love, light and truth, one for you to grow and blossom in.

Each day is a new gift from God. He loves and cares for us deeply. May you feel His strength flowing through you so that you may mount up with wings as eagles.

Hugs ~ FlowerLady
January 1, 2010 1:18 PM
Trish said…

Krista,

What a beautiful, honest post. You had me in tears. I am so proud of you and just so excited to see what 2010 has for your life. (And this pics are making me starving hungry!) I’m so glad you had a wonderful NYE and hope you know how much you are loved and appreciated!

Love you.
January 1, 2010 2:54 PM
Rambling Tart said…

Thank you so much, Sarah – your words made me cry and smile. πŸ™‚ Beauty for ashes sounds like the best trade ever, and I’ll take it! πŸ™‚ Much love to you.
January 1, 2010 9:06 PM
Rambling Tart said…

Your hugs and words were such a comfort today, dear Flower Lady. πŸ™‚ Thank you with all my heart. πŸ™‚
January 1, 2010 9:07 PM
Rambling Tart said…

Ah, Trish, you’ve got me cryin’ again – what a puddle of happy tears I am today! πŸ™‚ Love you so much and don’t know what I would’ve done this year without you. HUGE hug to you with heaps of love! πŸ™‚
January 1, 2010 9:08 PM
Irene said…

You are so amazing to share this with others. My wish for you in 2010 is for peace and healing. You sound like you have made yourself the master of your fate and the captain of your soul, as the poem goes. I think as we get older, we understand more and more that it’s not traditions, but it’s people that are precious. So glad you got to hang with your parents. By the way, Brit mysteries are the best!
January 1, 2010 9:13 PM
Rambling Tart said…

Thank you for such a beautiful wish for me, Irene. I have great hope that it will come to pass. πŸ™‚ Happy New Year, dear lady πŸ™‚
January 1, 2010 11:02 PM
Not Quite Nigella said…

So sorry to hear of your troubles. I hope that 2010 is a sunny, gorgeous year for you! And poutine is something I’ve always wanted to try so your NYE sounds just about perfect! πŸ˜€
January 2, 2010 4:12 AM
Joanne said…

I can’t believe you went through all of this Krista. One of my friends grew up in a cult and it was one of the hardest experiences of her life to get out of it and re-enter the “real” world. I can only imagine what you have endured. You are incredibly strong and I just know this year will be filled with great things for you.

Thanks for always being so sweet and for being such an awesome blogger friend. Hopefully someday we can meet in real life….I think we’d hit it off!

The poutine sounds amazing. I’ve read about it before on Closet Cooking and bookmarked it…but haven’t actually made it yet. Definite comfort food though!
January 2, 2010 4:50 AM
Rambling Tart said…

Thank you, Lorraine. πŸ™‚ I feel much freedom and hope in my heart and really do think it will be a beautiful year. Hope you like the Poutine πŸ™‚
January 2, 2010 9:44 AM
Rambling Tart said…

Oh, Joanne, I can understand how hard it is for your friend and wish I could give her a big hug. We have such huge gaps of cultural experience and knowledge, and after being controlled and manipulated for years, we have to learn who we are too. It’s like being high school in your late twenties and thirties. πŸ™‚

But we’ll make it! πŸ™‚ We can’t let those buggers win. As a friend of mine from that world said yesterday, “They may have stolen our pasts, but they can’t have our futures.” I love that. πŸ™‚

I would LOVE to meet you in real life! πŸ™‚ Hopefully one day soon πŸ™‚
January 2, 2010 9:48 AM
{lauryl} said…

Krista, your honesty in writing this brings tears to my eyes. To this day I have difficulty thinking or talking about “the dark years.” It’s only in the past couple years, with the encouragement of my husband, that I’ve been able to admit that I was raised in a cult, and that that cult destroyed my understanding of God. But I love that you said you couldn’t let the bad guys win. Me neither. Every day I am grateful for the life I now lead, despite years and years and years of spiritual abuse. I’m free now, and FREEDOM is a beautiful, beautiful thing!
January 2, 2010 11:55 AM
Sweet and Savory said…

It is interesting. I have an impression of you and in a million years, I would never have seen you in such a situation. My heart breaks with everyone else’s.

You have proven through this blog how much of a survivor you are and give hope to all of us for the challenges in our life.

Blogging has power and you have just proven it. Sharing yourself with such honesty will affect others and hopefully bring them to better places.

Thank you for being such a special loving person.
January 3, 2010 12:48 AM
Rambling Tart said…

Dear Lauryl, I’m so glad you have such a good man to love you and be a safe place for you to find true, glorious freedom! You have brought so much beauty into this world and I hope you keep doing so for many, many years to come. πŸ™‚
January 3, 2010 2:29 PM
Rambling Tart said…

Oh Chaya, thank you for your words. They were like a hug and have me all teary and comforted. Thank you.
January 3, 2010 2:30 PM
Ellie said…

What a touching post. I wish you nothing but the very best in 2010! This is the ultimate comfort food to start the year πŸ™‚
January 3, 2010 2:47 PM
Rambling Tart said…

Thank you, dear Ellie! πŸ™‚ I wish you the very same! πŸ™‚
January 3, 2010 4:03 PM
Y said…

Oh wow, it’s amazing that you could share this, and fantastic that writing your blog has helped you grow stronger as a person. Wishing you many more good things for the new year.
January 3, 2010 4:11 PM
Genevieve Ferraro said…

I’m so happy you shared this! My brother went through something similar and has not yet returned to church. Thanks so much for your courage to write and show us that hard times can be overcome.

May all good things come to you in the New Year!
January 3, 2010 4:51 PM
Rambling Tart said…

Thank you so much, Y. πŸ™‚ I was so scared to write it, but feel a huge weight off me now. πŸ™‚
January 3, 2010 6:57 PM
Rambling Tart said…

I ache for your brother, Genevieve. I still struggle so much but am content to have a simple faith that resonates with my heart. It was very hard for me to write about these things, but I feel like a burden has been lifted, darkness parted, and I’m so glad I did. πŸ™‚ I hope your brother finds healing, comfort and much joy.
January 3, 2010 6:58 PM
Julia said…

I’m so sorry to hear of your tragedy. Sadly, more than a few of my students have told me similar stories — some of their families were literally ruined by such experiences. But I’m so glad to see you facing your fears, moving forward, and celebrating life. Bad things always happen, but it’s up to us to open ourselves to ALL experiences and choose to become better people, not worse, because of them.

Cheers to you, Rambling Tart!
xx
January 3, 2010 7:44 PM
Rambling Tart said…

Thanks so much for your encouragement, Julia! πŸ™‚ You cheered me right up this evening. πŸ™‚ I love your reminder to stay open, come what may, and press on in our pursuit of goodness no matter what. πŸ™‚
January 3, 2010 7:52 PM
corine said…

Reading your story confirms my theory that some people can’t be brought down by even the worst hardships, while others (me perhaps?) tedn to fall apart at the slightest bump on the road. I am inspired!
January 3, 2010 8:24 PM
Rambling Tart said…

Ohhhh, I’m so glad you’re inspired Corine. πŸ™‚ Trust me, I’ve done plenty of falling apart. I think we’re strong because we keep getting up again. πŸ™‚
January 3, 2010 9:22 PM
Dustjacket Attic said…

Oh honey I cannot begin to imagine what you must have got through, you are SO courageous and brave.

On a lighter note there is nothing better than a Brit murder mystery .. Lynley was a good one and some great comfort food….excellent way to say goodbye to the past and Hello to the future.

Big hug Sweetie,
xxx
January 3, 2010 9:44 PM
Rambling Tart said…

Thank you so much for the big hug, DJ. It came just when I really needed it. Funny how you can write something like this and feel so brave, and then after it’s written you’re an absolute puddle. But I’ll buck up, and press on, and be brave. It’s a New Year. πŸ™‚
January 4, 2010 11:11 PM
Kevin and Sheree said…

Thank you. For your courage. For your refreshing honesty. And for how you’ve allowed the pain and tears in your life to become a well watered spring in the desert of other people’s lives! You are beautiful and I can’t tell you how much I enjoy this blog on your life and food. I’m so amateur when it comes to culinary things but you inspire me! I would love to sit at your table to not only enjoy your tasty delights but to delight in your soul:) Maybe one day Friend…
January 6, 2010 9:22 AM
Rambling Tart said…

My dear Reesha, thank you so much for this note. I really needed it today, and felt your love and support so strongly. πŸ™‚ I would love so much to sit at any table anywhere with you. You are my dear kindred spirit no matter how many years and miles separate us. Love you.
January 6, 2010 11:38 AM
darci said…

my dear old (and by that i mean my friend from years past, not elderly!) friend,
I saw your post on facebook, went to read it, saw the link and ended up here. I do not know what you experienced-those years were years that you and i lost our way in friendship, i think..i’m so sorry i wasn’t ‘there’ foryou , even long distance. i am committing to praying for you, for healing. years later, i still love you krista my friend. darci πŸ™‚
January 14, 2010 9:13 AM
Rambling Tart said…

My dear, dear Darci. πŸ™‚ Thank you SO much for your words today. Yes, those were our lost years, and I am so, so happy we have found each other again. Thank you for praying for me. I am healing, even though it seems so slow sometimes. πŸ™‚ I love you too! So much. πŸ™‚
January 14, 2010 9:49 PM
jerusha said…

And I must tell you, Krista, that your family offered me glimmers of light even in that darkness–little reminders of the joie de vivre that God made us for. Hooray for surviving. The Sun of righteousness has healing in His wings!
January 15, 2010 9:32 AM
Rambling Tart said…

Thank you for telling me that, Jerusha! I’m so glad that we were a light instead of darkness – that makes my heart happy. πŸ™‚ Much love to you! πŸ™‚ I’m so glad you’re on this side of the darkness with me. πŸ™‚
January 15, 2010 6:15 PM
SEA said…

Krista! One of the things I’ve pondered most “post-cult” is the same thing that stands out to me most whenever I’ve wandered over to your facebook page or now to your blog… and that is *beauty.* It was something that the “cult” couldn’t really account for or fully appreciate, even though it snuck in here and there, and it is certainly something that overflows from you. To see, to love, and to enjoy, simply for itself, a beautiful thing, moment, or object is a gift all its own. Congrats on the beautiful way you revel in the beauty! Our Creator made a beautiful world for us to enjoy, and in that we rejoice.
January 21, 2010 12:43 AM
Rambling Tart said…

Thank you, SEA – whoever you are. πŸ™‚ Your words came at the perfect time to comfort and cheer me tonight. πŸ™‚ I raise my glass with you to beauty! Big hug to you. πŸ™‚
January 21, 2010 10:21 PM
Karen said…

Oh Krista. I read your blogs as I can and have had a bit of a crazy month and so I haven’t read much lately. I somehow ended here. My fellow Anne of Green Gables lover. How many hours and sleepovers did we spend watching that movie – recorded from t.v. πŸ™‚ I am so sad for you and the pain you have gone through. Your honesty of learning to love and know God and yourself is an amazing thing. I pray that you will continue to heal and love and grow. Much love my old friend. πŸ™‚
February 4, 2010 9:51 AM
Rambling Tart said…

Dearest Karen, I just saw your post today – thank you SO much for your words. I’m so happy you have a blog and I will be following you now. πŸ™‚ SO many sleepovers and movie night memories – wonderful memories. πŸ™‚ Love you too!
February 26, 2010 10:34 PM

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