My friend T is a great guy. He’s always sending me books, books he loves, books he thinks I will love, and it’s so exciting to open a parcel from him. Once he loved a book so much he sent it to me twice by accident and we had a good laugh.
A while back he sent me “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown, and this week I finally got a chance to open it and start reading. What a treasure. I cried and grinned as I read, jotted down notes, underlined sentences, sighed and nodded at so many “me too” moments.
There are gems throughout, but the line I keep thinking about is this:
“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.”
a place of worthiness
Not a place of strength, not a place of understanding everything, not a place of wisdom or courage or got-it-all-together-ness. A place of worthiness.
I was staggered by that. Gripped, gutted, stunned, and, as it sunk deep, deep into my soul, healed.
a place of worthiness
I find myself reciting those words as I go through my day, smiling at the instant calm they bring, silently thanking Brené for all the work she did to write them down.
It’s been interesting to think through the things that stress me out and fill me with anxiety. So many of them stem from a place of unworthiness. When I am secure in my worthiness, I don’t wrestle with shame over my weaknesses, I just give myself a hug and deal with them. I don’t worry about what others think, I just try my best. I am not stunned into silence by bullies, I calmly stand up for myself or others.
Looking back I see that it was the ability to make me doubt my worthiness that gave bullies their power, that allowed abusers to treat me shamefully, that made me afraid to love and receive love. Unworthiness breeds doubt, fear, and shame. Worthiness, on the other hand, does the opposite. It anchors confidence, gives oomph to courage, and makes love a beautiful thing.
It’s been such a healing week for me. I feel so thankful for the whole-hearted people in this world who are lights for us in our dark moments. I’m treasuring this deep peace, the inestimable comfort that comes from the assurance of worthiness.
It accompanies me as I pull weeds in my gardens and wash dishes, makes me smile as I apply for new writing jobs and bake bread while the rain falls. It compels me to randomly hug Bear and squeeze him until he laughs. It’s a good, good feeling.
Now I will slice up some lusciously ripe white peaches, finish burning some spoons to ship to America, and watch Arrow episodes with Bear.
Wishing you a beautiful weekend. xo