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Coffee, Rainy Days and Thoughts on Friendship

It is pouring rain today and I love it more than I can say.

We have had the most exquisite Autumn in Queensland, Australia. One warm, sunny day after another. I feel spoiled rotten.

But after all that glorious sunshine it is a lovely change to stay inside, warm and cozy as the rain falls, watching Poirot and Midsummer Murders while I fold laundry and cook things like Spicy Feta Scones, Sausage Lentil Soup, and a Chocolate Port Trifle.

I love Fridays at home. Articles have all been written and submitted, websites built and honed, and I get to devote nearly the whole day to non-computerish things.

It’s the day where I get restored before the hustle and bustle of weekends on the farm.

And the day when I rest and reflect, think about the week, my life, and what’s going on in this heart and mind of mine.

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship recently. Moving to the other side of the world and starting a new life changed a lot of things for me, and friendship was a big one.

For a while I was floating between two worlds. I didn’t belong in the United States or Canada anymore, but felt like a visitor in Europe and then Australia. I was a woman without a country and it was unsettling. I can’t tell you how many times the theme song from Cheers provided the soundtrack for my feelings:

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo

I remember vividly the day I went to the shopping center here in Warwick, Queensland and ran into three different people who not only knew me but LOVED me. Their faces lit up as soon as they saw me and seconds later I was enveloped in hugs. It was the most wonderful feeling of belonging, a treasured assurance that this place is steadily becoming home.

Returning briefly to the United States a month or so ago was equally momentous. I LOVED seeing my dear ones, loved visiting and eating together and catching up over tea and coffee. But I also realized beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was no longer my home. From now on I will be a visitor there, and that’s OK.

It’s OK to change.

It’s OK to move.

It’s OK to start over.

I like this quote from Dr. Seuss:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

Finding your place in this world is an ever-changing adventure. Sometimes painful and scary, sometimes inspiring and beautiful. Tonight I feel so grateful for my true friends scattered all over the world. So thankful for emails, visits, phone calls and love that cheer and strengthen and build me up.

I’m also, well, maybe not grateful, but “something” for the false friends. Those who have betrayed and crushed and deceived me. Without them I would not know what true friendship is. Without their cruelty I wouldn’t treasure real and amazing love that isn’t altered by differences in faith, lifestyle or politics.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Mother Teresa

Wishing you a beautiful weekend, dear ones, with real love and real friendship. XO

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Krista - I love that, Jeanne – a privilege and a curse. 🙂 So true. 🙂

Krista - Oh dear Becky, I know you have felt these things too as you forged YOUR new life in a new country. 🙂 I’m so glad these words and pictures can bridge that gap between us too. 🙂 xo

Krista - Thank you so much, Nancy. 🙂 It was a good reminder to me too. Just what I needed. 🙂

Krista - I cannot wait for you to visit, Margo. 🙂 To take you to my favorite spots and spoil you rotten while you relax to your hearts content. 🙂

Krista - Oh Mel, it must be so hard to be away from so many of your dear ones. I’m so glad that you’ve forged new relationships and I hope they bring you much joy and a sense of true belonging. I’m so glad you are my friend too. 🙂

Krista - Dear Jamie, you really do understand. This phrase of yours brought tears to my eyes: “When I visit any country and am with a very good friend, I feel so good that I never want to move.” I always feel that same way. 🙂 Thank you for making me feel not so strange. 🙂

Krista - You are right, dear Joanne. They both DO have value and make us stronger. 🙂

Krista - I’m teary and laughing after reading your post, Neil. 🙂 Thank you SO much. You always say just the right thing to cheer me up. 🙂

Krista - Lara, your words meant so much to me today. 🙂 Thank you for understanding AND inspiring. 🙂

Krista - Dear Christina, thank you for letting me know. I’m so glad these thoughts could comfort you. Wishing you much clarity of purpose and choice as you make these decisions. I hope you find a beautiful place that is home for your heart very soon. 🙂

Krista - A “citizen of the world” is a beautiful way to look at it, Andrea. 🙂 Thank you for that lovely word picture. 🙂

Krista - Oh, that quote is perfect for what you were going through, Andi. 🙂 I’m so very, very glad that you and Lucas are together at last. 🙂

Krista - Thank you so much, Jenny. 🙂 Your country has been a true haven for me. 🙂

Krista - Thank you so much, dear Katie! 🙂 It was a very happy weekend indeed. 🙂

Krista - Thanks so much, Mary! I will post it very soon. 🙂

Krista - You are so right, dear Lauryl. Lack of true friendship really does have a negative effect on our mental health. I hope so much that you find true kindred spirits in your new home VERY soon. 🙂 xo

Krista - Thank you so much, T! You are a rock. 🙂

Krista - My dear Bao, you brought such happy tears to my eyes today. 🙂 I love my memories of those days with you too!! Such fun we had hiking and roasting hot dogs and swimming. 🙂 I too hope we will meet again very soon. XO

Krista - Thank you so much, dear Cathy. 🙂 I’m so glad to know that I have a kindred spirit in you on the other side of the world. 🙂

Krista - You’re so welcome, David. 🙂

Krista - Very important indeed!! 🙂

Krista - You’ve had so many changes this year, dear Darc. I can only imagine how overwhelming it’s all been. xo I would absolutely love a rubber-booted meander with you. 🙂

Jeanne @ CookSister! - Real friendship, not broken by distance or time, is the most precious gift imagineable.  Can relate to your description of “living between two worlds” – it’s both a privilege and a curse!!

Becky - Sooo true, Krista! It’s the “beginning of the rest” of your life and such an exciting time. You left N.America with hope, courage, and faith and it’s paid off. I’m so happy you have found your charmed neck of the woods. It’s wonderful Australia is already feeling like home. Such a great land and precious folks. It’s beautiful to share love and laughter with new friends who become as dear as family with time. Thank you for sharing your life through your blog. It bridges the kilometers and time zones. 

Krista - Thank you, Nancy. 🙂 I’m so glad you stopped by. I really needed the reminder too! 🙂

Nancy - It sounds like you shouldn’t have a hard time making friends wherever you go! Thanks for the reminder to reflect on who and what is important….

Margo Millure - so happy you are settling in so well there. *want to come visit even more badly*  Those coffee pics are so inviting! I love how your personality comes through in your photos.

Melody Goff - Love this post, Krista. I have found my latest move far away from my family, friends, and the town that I grew up and lived in for all but 9 of my adult years, to be a trifle on the difficult side. It has been good but has challenged me. I have found new friends, far and near, renewed old friendships long distance and have discovered some friends that weren’t the friends I thoght they were. Thank you for being one of m y new friends who lives far away! Hugs to you as you find your place in lovely Australia!

Jamie - I can really relate to this wonderful post. I always feel like a Woman Without a Country (my husband and I both say this often) – as must be our sons. I have never felt French nor completely at home here and now feel a foreigner, a stranger in the US. The best we ever felt – my husband and I – was when we lived in Italy and were both truly foreigners and knew just where we stood. But friends are what ties us to a place, anyway. When I visit any country and am with a very good friend, I feel so good that I never want to move. Gosh, you really have got me thinking about all of this…. especially when husband and I are now thinking about the possibility, the attraction of moving somewhere else again.

Joanne - I’m so glad you’ve found your place, Krista, and that you’re happy.  We learn just as much from the bad relationships in our lives as we do from the good ones!  ANd both are valuable in their own ways.

Neil1964 - Krista you are Australia’s new blonde haired budda – luv your phillisophical zen quotes of inspiration . I’ve said it once and I will say it again………..”don’t you ever change girl”………..we all get to log in to this blog for the chance to look at our lives from another perspective……….. a perspective provided by you…….Thank You So Much

Lara - I too uprooted from Canada many moons ago. I remember talking to a close family friend who had done the same. I was lamenting the loss of my roots – not having someone to say to me “you are so full of s*%t!”. What she said to me was “you build a new history”. Now, nearly a decade later, I am like you, this is home. I am an Australian who was once a Canadian, not a Canadian living in Australia.

Christina Fields - I take comfort in your words today. Right now, I’m not sure where I belong and the search to figure out where to land or if I should “land” at all is overwhelming. You offer a beautiful perspective. Thanks. 

Andrea and John - Great post, Krista! I really felt my friendships changed when I left the US. Now everyone I love is scattered everywhere. I don’t ever feel a sense of true belonging anywhere I go or live these days. I’m ok with it. I simply say I’m a citizen of the world =)  ~Andrea.

jenny_atasteoftravel - What a beautiful post Krista. I’m happy for you that you have been able to find true friends and a sense of place in Queensland 

Andi Perullo - Whenever I would leave Lucas in Argentina, I ALWAYS said that Dr. Suess quote to myself!!! I hope the rain continues a bit more for you since you’re enjoying it so much! Have a lovely weekend gorgeous.

Katie@cozydelicious - I love that Dr Seuss quote too! And I’m so happy to hear that you are finally ‘home’. A happy weekend to you!

Lauryl Lane - So, so true! I’ve been pretty depressed lately after moving to a new city where I have no friends and just am not finding the right people to become friends with. So for me, this period has been one of discovering that I’m not at home and I need to get back to where my home really is. Being away from your friends can cause your mental health to take a serious nosedive. 😉 I am so glad that you are settling into your new home and feeling AT HOME there. I can’t wait to be back in MY home, too! xoxo

Maryrichardson - Gorgeous photos! And I love the idea of the spicy feta scone! Post the recipe for that!

Ulysses S. Rant - Haters gonna hate, K. Don’t let the fundie losers get you down! Your real friends luv ya. 😉

Bao Chang - You’re such a warm person Krista, I missed that summer when I spend a day or two at your place and we just went hiking and sewing and listening to the Odyssey! I loved that endless land of beautiful golden grass and bright green trees! I hope we’ll meet again sometime. I enjoyed reading this blog because I can relate to it and it also gives me courage.

Cathy Powell - Krista this a beautiful post.  I’d never thought about the false friends comment that you mention, but you are so right, it does make you realise about true friendship and the people who hold on, even as you move from place to place.  You’re a true treasure, have a great weekend.

David - Beautifully written! Thank you!

Mdhovdestad - Bright GREEN rubber boots..very important fact;)

Mdhovdestad - Oh I like this!! I have struggled much with this latest move….and yet, yes,!! There are those whose eyes light up when theynsee me, and vice versa…isn’t God good? Love this post! Wish I could put on my bright rubber boots and come for a meander with you.:) love darc

Krista -  Thank you, dear Barbara. 🙂 You ALWAYS make me feel loved and wanted. 🙂 xo

Krista -  My dear Maddie, thank you so much. 🙂 XO Love you dearly and hope we can visit each other again very soon. 🙂

Barbara at winos and foodies, - We are glad you are here Krista.

Krista -  I love your thoughts on this, Ruth. 🙂 They are hard to come by. I’ve often envied people who have lived in one place all their lives, with deep roots in the community and family. But then I think we are pretty lucky too. Getting to experience so many different cultures and forge deep, lasting relationships that continue (amazingly!) even when we’re far apart. “Not based purely on convenience” – I like that very much. 🙂

Maddie - It’s beautiful Krista, this article, and I am so very happy that you’ve found a new true home in Australia, you deserve it so much! 🙂 xxx

Ruth Dear - Real friendships are hard to come by, especially when travelling around so much. But I feel as I get older, experience more and yes, get hurt or abandoned by people I trusted makes it a lot easier to see the friendships that are true and meaningful and not based purely on convenience.

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