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A Different Light

It’s cold tonight, and I’m tucked up in bed in a nest of blankets, garbed in flannel pjs with a scarf wrapped snugly around my neck.

It’s been a strange few months for me. Some things in my world have gone topsy-turvy, upsetting cherished ideas, plans, and commitments, forcing me to look at myself, my future, my life in an entirely different light than I have before.

It’s been scary and unsettling and, eventually, after tears and freak outs and finding the courage to stare it all in the face, rather exciting.

It all started with one unscrupulous employer. Then another. Then one more. (When things come in threes, I tend to sit up and take notice.) The first was merely unreliable, the second a sexual predator I reported, the third an international scam artist I had to report to the government so they could launch an investigation. Seriously whackadoodle stuff that shook me more than a little bit and left me broke, feeling rather adrift, and none too keen to trust new people. It also triggered some rather dreadful memories from my past, and I had to take some time to process things and figure out what I was going to do next.

I spent a lot of time outside, letting gardens and animals and wind and trees and sunshine and campfires and walks do their healing, strengthening work.

I read a lot, letting stories and poems and the musings of others help me navigate my own thoughts and feelings until I could see clearly instead of through a heavy fog of fear and uncertainty.

I reminded myself of the collaborations that I have with people who truly are wonderful, reliable, and a joy to work with. (Andy, Carrie, Cory, and Rowan, I’m looking at you. XO)

Yes, there are spectacularly awful people in this world, liars and cheats and plain ol’ disgusting wretches, but there are supremely marvelous people too, ones who inspire and support and cheer. Encountering the bad ones has made me treasure the good ones even more.

After the initial shock wore off, I could see the situations with genuine pride. In the past when I was treated poorly I just took it. I let abusers and manipulators and nogooddirtyrottenscoundrels trample all over me. Not this time. This time I stood up for myself and made them accountable for their behavior by reporting them to the proper authorities. I wasn’t a victim, and that feels really good.

Those situations also made me look at myself differently, and see if there were ways I could be brave and expand my own business to be my main business instead of a sideline.

So I’ve been brainstorming and talking with business friends and crunching numbers and making plans and sketching out big dreams. Slowly but surely things are coming together, and I’m so excited to share with you what’s ahead.

I won’t say too much yet, there are still a few more important details to be sorted, but I wanted to let you know I’m excited. My spirit is happy dancing and whenever I think of it I smile. Pretty sure that’s a good sign.

In the meantime I do the work I have with beautiful collaborators I love and trust, I learn how to stretch pennies further than they’ve ever been stretched, and I practice living in hope instead of fear. I also do little things that make me happy: medieval projects, picking olives with Bear, and making way too many bottles of hot sauce.

Things are going to be OK.

xo

 




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Lorraine - It will be and its due to you, your strength, passion, talent and resilience.

budget jan - Wow what a run of demoralising things Krista! I can only imagine how it made you feel. Out of bad things some good does grow. Can’t wait to here what you’ve got up your sleeve!

thefisherlady - Oh you must be thinking of Mexican hearted us! Eduardo and I love hotsauce 🙂
This is a wonderful post
Your photos of light surrounding the darkness shows so much beauty~ kind of like our Creator God, who,in the midst of darkness around us, lives as light through people who let the light shine through their cracks… it makes living delightful and worthwhile.
I see all sorts of light illuminating your life, even the dark hurtful corners that discourage. Taking ’em by tail and sorting them to where they belong is victory indeed.
hugs from Canada~ here Spring is slowly sorting herself. 12 Spring goatkids and soil almost ready to run through the fingers and set to seed are waking up the envigorating side that has been hibernating all winter.

Cheryl - So unfair Krista to have to encounter more bad and unkind people! It’s true that there are still so many truly wonderful, kind, and trustworthy people out there. Don’t give up, and keep enjoying the little moments that bring you joy each day.

Cathy - Sorry to hear that you’ve had these bad experiences Krista, but I look forward to when you can share the news that you are excited about xx

Jessica - I’m sorry that all that craziness is what had to happen for you to get here, but so so happy that your finding your footing now. I’m so excited to see what you have in mind!

Anna @ shenANNAgans - I thank you for being brave enough to report the bad people, you have helped to save many, many, many others from awful experiences. You are a beautiful shining light the world is blessed to have in it. Thanks Krista for always speaking your truth, you remind me to be brave every day. xo

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