My clothes smell of hay and sawdust and wood smoke these days, lovely scents that make me smile and feel connected to the places and people I love.

The late afternoon sun is shimmering through the trees, glistening on the sprawling pile of hay the goats and lambs have been feasting on. A wild wind has picked up, cold and bitey, and I’m glad to be wrapped in a blanket on the veranda, hanging out with Bear for a bit of a chat before he heads inside to make us cuppas.

* * *

It’s a day later and I’m back on the veranda, this time bundled to the hilt against fearsomely cold winds, surveying a farm utterly drenched by pelting rains.

I just finished making a big batch of kumquat beer and the house smells marvelous as the beer cools down in preparation for bottling. Chicken is roasting in the oven and all is ready for a cozy day of pottering and keeping warm against the elements.

I read an article by Jess Zimmerman last week, and love how she describes a healthy relationship as two people:

“in cahoots to make each others lives easier and better.”

Isn’t that beautiful?

I’ve been thinking of it every day.

basket of kumquatsI grew up in a world where we were compelled to make life harder for each other. We were instructed to be each others conscience, to point out flaws, police behaviors, watch and listen and make sure that we were all doing “the right thing.”

It nauseates me to think of it now. What an appalling way to live and relate and interact. No wonder so many of us from that world struggle to be ourselves. We kept “us” hidden for so long just to keep out of trouble, to avoid beatings, solitary confinement, communal shunning, and public shaming.

I’m so glad to be in my new world, this beautiful life where I am safe to be me with all my quirks and gifts and foibles, where I can live each day striving to make things easier and better for others. It is an incredible gift.

limes and kumquatsI’ve been tallying up an In Cahoots List. Names of people I love who make my life as easy and better as they can. It’s made me quite emotional to picture each treasured face, to write down their names and think of one situation after another where they lightened my burden and brightened my world. It’s also strengthened my resolve to be that sort of person, an In Cahoots person, partnering up with my loves to make our journey on earth as soul-nourishing as we can.

This world can be so scary sometimes, lonely and painful and sad, and it comforts me no end to picture my In Cahoots people, arms entwined like tree branches, taking turns propping each other up, providing inestimable courage and hope, so much stronger together than by ourselves.

wood burned branchesI’m celebrating them today.

Who are your In Cahoots people? xo