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Storms, Pancakes, and Bravery in Friendship

Storm clouds rolled in last night, dark and marvelous, and as we slept they broke open to give our farm a good drink. By this morning the rain was gone, but the clouds and wild winds remained. It was just the sort of day to linger long over breakfast with dear friends, so Bear and I got in the car and did just that.

After working so hard on our farm last week, it was sheer bliss to sit in comfy chairs and visit for a couple of hours as we ate Hungarian pancakes topped with Camembert and blueberries, some with whipped cream and stewed apples, and “just one more” with salted butter and real maple syrup.

We talked about travel and good food, goats and books, photography, gardening, and the crazy stories that have happened in our lives since we saw each other last. It was lovely. Being with them reminded me of this quote:

“Oh, the comfort – the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person –
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together;
certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”
Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

Life can often be lonely, can’t it? Weeks (months!) can go by with connections no deeper than a cheery hello as you pass someone on the street or meet in line at the post office. It’s especially hard when poor health, paltry finances, or just plain fear crowd in to make interactions difficult to plan or maintain. Hard things pile up making us feel that no one would like us if we told them how we were REALLY doing, and before long it becomes too scary and daunting to even think about reaching out again.

But it’s days like this that remind me friendship is worth trying for. Always. And that it’s OK to feel scared and insecure and worry about being rejected or unwanted. Try anyway. Reach out anyway. Among the “I’m too busy’s” and “Don’t have time for that’s” we’ll find, “I’d love to!!” “My house is a wreck but YES, please come over!” and “This has been the most horrible day, but you calling made it so much better.”

 

That’s my goal this year, to be brave in friendship. To take a deep breath and make that phone call, press send on that email, and say yes to coffee, a hike, or last minute pancakes on a stormy day.

xo




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bellini - My life is such that I need to be spontaneous in whatever I do. My partners in crime are not nearly as spontaneous but it does not stop me doing what I planned for myself. I enjoy my own company and if friends can join in..all the better to share the experience.

Krista - I’m smiling, Val, because spontaneity is becoming the best way for me too. I can’t plan in advance very well when farm emergencies crop up unexpectedly. I love this line you wrote: “I enjoy my own company and if friends can join in..all the better to share the experience.” Beautiful. XO

katyabroad - Yes, go for it luv! Have you come across Brene Brown? My mum put me on to her TED talks about vulnerability – she is amazing and says that by embracing vulnerability, it allows us to connect much better to others, just as you are saying 🙂

Coffee and Crumpets - Thank you, Krista. Reading your post is encouraging especially since I feel like that most of the time. I’m the friend who says ” I’d love to” but always fear burdening someone else with my feelings and problems. My health is always a big concern, but I try not to mention how I’m feeling to anyone for the fear that they don’t understand/care or feel bogged down by my problems. Most days I’m in pain and feel fatigued and just blah, but to everyone else, I’m the always smiling, nothing is wrong at all person. The thing is, I don’t think I can or will change.
I hope for you though, you are able to reach out to your friends and find some comfort through sharing, and don’t forget us, we may not physically be with you, but we can always listen through emails and comments 🙂

Nazneen

Nancy - Friendship is always worth reaching out for – I’ve been on more girlie blind dates in the last 6 years since we left Australia than I care to remember. Sometimes it’s hard to put yourself out there and make the effort – but then meeting just one person you connect with can make such a difference.

Karin Stienemeier - Wonderful thoughts and I love the quote. Courage Cherie it will all work out and I love being your friend from afar xox

Hotly Spiced - That’s a good idea. My husband is always saying I never make time to be spontaneous. But that’s because he always asks me to do things just when I’ve got started on something else. I’ve told him I could be more spontaneous if he let me know the night before – if that counts! xx

justinedejonge - Such a lovely post, Krista. I find that I’m a natural introvert which means I find it hard more often than not to make those first connections. Having said that, I enjoyed a day out with girlfriends yesterday, after building up the courage to say yes. I felt completely connected in the moment of the day and felt so happy. I also like the alone time as well, when I can be alone with my thoughts to refresh myself. 🙂 xx

Joanne (eats well with others) - I am not the best at keeping up with friends either, but it does feel so good when I reach out and make plans or even just chat with them a bit!

Maureen - I could have written this and I know just how you feel. What an uplifting post.

Gourmet Getaways - It’s a great feeling to hear from friends, grateful that someone remembered us. Can you get some of the rains to Manila? Alesah is sweating it out there right now!!

Julie & Alesah
Gourmet Getaways xx

Tracy A. - Such wise words! It can be as intimidating as an adult as it was as a child to initiate friendships and keep them going. It is so worthwhile though!

Breanne @ This Vintage Moment - So good, being vulnerable scares me but it has the greatest rewards when I’m brave to step out.

And those pancakes with Camembert cheese and blueberries sound perfect for a stormy day!

Karen (Back Road Journal) - Friendship and pancakes, life doesn’t get much better. 😀

Turkey's For Life - Lovely post and yes, friendship is so important. We were invited round to friends at the weekend and almost didn’t go in favourof chilling at home (also nice, of course). We eventually went and it was a really lovely, special evening because of the chatter. 🙂
Julia

budgetjan - I am reading your posts from Europe Krista but not always commenting. I’ve tried tweeting but for some reason that doesn’t work for me at all in Europe. I wondered if it is the settings on the wifi of the places we stay. 🙂

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