“Starting the day –
Another chance to be new again.
How many of us still wish for that?
To be your own sunrise.
To awaken like a prayer –
both solemn and joyful at still being alive.”
I had to return to the hospital this week and will again as soon as they’re able to schedule the procedures I need. My doctors believe something is amiss inside of me, so they’re going in to find out what on earth is causing so much pain.
I’ve been struggling with fear this time around, but was comforted greatly today by meeting the man who will be doing the procedures. He is kind and gentle, patiently listening to and answering all my questions, making me feel genuinely cared for. I left his office feeling so much better about everything, trusting that I am in good hands.
In light of this latest turn of events, the above quote means a great deal to me. Especially these words:
“To be your own sunrise. To awaken like a prayer – both solemn and joyful at still being alive.”
I am exceedingly joyful to be alive. To have love in my life, Bear’s hand to hold when I’m scared, dear friends to cry with when it all gets to feeling a bit much.
And I’m grateful for the sunrise each day, reminding me just how beautiful life still is, even when it’s scary.
I love that little phrase. It is so hopeful and delicious, a bright ray of light to remind myself that I get to decide how I’m going to face each day.
But it doesn’t end there.
I also get to take heart. To give myself a big hug and say, “OK luv, you’ve had your weep and your moan, now let’s look at all the good stuff.”
And there’s so much good stuff.
- sunny Autumn brekky’s with Bear on the veranda.
- Skype chats with dear overseas friends.
- strength to exercise and work in my gardens.
- lovely editors to work with.
- cute old men regaling me with tall tales for the history book I’m writing.
- hilarious and spunky old ladies including me on their day out at the movies.
- good food and visits with friends at our house.
- coffees and warm chocolate cake to celebrate a good appointment at the hospital.