“Starting the day –
Another chance to be new again.
How many of us still wish for that?
To be your own sunrise.
To awaken like a prayer –
both solemn and joyful at still being alive.”
Carew Papritz
I had to return to the hospital this week and will again as soon as they’re able to schedule the procedures I need. My doctors believe something is amiss inside of me, so they’re going in to find out what on earth is causing so much pain.
I’ve been struggling with fear this time around, but was comforted greatly today by meeting the man who will be doing the procedures. He is kind and gentle, patiently listening to and answering all my questions, making me feel genuinely cared for. I left his office feeling so much better about everything, trusting that I am in good hands.
In light of this latest turn of events, the above quote means a great deal to me. Especially these words:
“To be your own sunrise. To awaken like a prayer – both solemn and joyful at still being alive.”
I am exceedingly joyful to be alive. To have love in my life, Bear’s hand to hold when I’m scared, dear friends to cry with when it all gets to feeling a bit much.
And I’m grateful for the sunrise each day, reminding me just how beautiful life still is, even when it’s scary.
It is magical to be alone in the woods before the sun comes up. To watch the sky lighten over distant hills and tree tops turn from black to gold.
I like watching the mist-covered fields lighten as the sky fills with color.
These Autumn mornings I wear one of Bear’s padded flannel jackets to keep me warm while I tramp through dew-sodden grasses with the goats.
“Be your own sunrise.”
I love that little phrase. It is so hopeful and delicious, a bright ray of light to remind myself that I get to decide how I’m going to face each day.
I don’t have to pretend or lie. When things are ghastly, they’re ghastly, no ifs, ands, or buts. And I can let myself grieve, rage, sleep, feel numb, whatever I need to feel.
But it doesn’t end there.
I also get to take heart. To give myself a big hug and say, “OK luv, you’ve had your weep and your moan, now let’s look at all the good stuff.”
And there’s so much good stuff.
Here are a few “good stuff” things from my life this week:
- sunny Autumn brekky’s with Bear on the veranda.
- Skype chats with dear overseas friends.
- strength to exercise and work in my gardens.
- lovely editors to work with.
- cute old men regaling me with tall tales for the history book I’m writing.
- hilarious and spunky old ladies including me on their day out at the movies.
- good food and visits with friends at our house.
- coffees and warm chocolate cake to celebrate a good appointment at the hospital.
So many good things that I get a bit teary thinking about them. I’m so thankful that life is never only bad. There’s always something or someone to help us through and make the journey brighter and easier to bear.
How about you, luv. What “good stuff” things are making your journey easier to bear this week? xo
Good luck… hope it works out well. Such a joyful post.
Thank you, @MyCustardPie:disqus 🙂 That’s my hope as well. 🙂
the goodest stuff I know is what you write about… how you can be your own sunrise, how life is never only bad, how there’s always something or someone to help us
through and make the journey brighter and easier to bear.
praying for a good report with your health, something that can wonderfully remedy the pain and bring absolute healing…love you dear one… lifting it all in prayer as I watch the Lord’s sunrise this morning…
Thank you so much for your kindness and loving prayers, Susan. XO I’m off to watch my own sunrise with the goats now, and I will think of you. 🙂
What a lovely post. Thank you for sharing your wonderful outlook on life…you are right there are always beautiful things in each day to appreciate. I hope all goes well…you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you so much for your kind and caring words, @karenbackroadjournal:disqus xo
well…your beautiful pictures, for a start! and yes great cheery outfits that are mostly about pleasing oneself! (but mixing patterns is mandatory!)
sorry about the new hospital news but hope it’s a step in the direction of getting properly better for once and for all. we’ll be thinking of you and wishing you our very best!
http://mlleparadis.blogspot.com
“cheery outfits that are mostly about pleasing oneself” – YES! 🙂 It is so delightful and inspiring to mix and match colors and patterns to make something lovely, even if it’s only me it is lovely to. 🙂
Kind neighbors who wave to us while we sit on our porch drinking and wearing matching shirts.
Ice skating to fun (and loud) music.
Sleeping in because school is out.
Packing for a vacation at the beach.
Trips to the library.
Flowers!
All of these make me smile, @disqus_YrfmmrEUVU:disqus 🙂 So much goodness and happy memories. 🙂
Your Gumboots always cheer me up!!!
You remind me of all I have to be grateful for xxx
I’m so glad they’re cheering to you too, @lisa | renovating italy:disqus I had to get some heavy duty black ones for working in the bush, and although they’re brilliant for the job, they just don’t have the same cheer factor. 🙂 XOXO
A truly beautiful post Krista 🙂 What a great idea 🙂 Thank you for sharing all your good stuff 🙂
Krista, hang in there… wishing you a speedy recovery to wellness, love.
Another entry that brings smiles to our faces, K. Except that sunrise part. We night owls understand that mornings blow and sunsets are far superior.
You poor darling have been through so much. Let’s hope this new medico can sort out the pain and you’ll be fighting fit soon. If I can do anything, just yell.
Good luck with the operation will be thinking of you. I am loving sunrises each morning too as its the time i tend to wake to feed my new bub. Each morning is different with colours, clouds and tempreture – adds to the fun. All the best.
Thanks for sharing, Krista! You have such a great perspective and it helped me look for some silver linings in some clouds I faced today. I am so sorry for the physical situation and will be praying for the docs to sort things out quickly and thoroughly. You deserve some relief! Sending you love and hugs!
sending lots of positive thoughts your way for a successful surgery!
I like it when you challenge us to find the “good stuff”. Time to throw out negative thoughts. We hope to get away for a week of fishing and relaxing this week. Just waiting for a phonecall from an errant Real Estate person. 🙂
I admire you for a million things Krista but today I admire you for your courage. Courage to trust and go ahead with a procedure/surgery whatever, because you know it will help ease your pain. I am in urgent need of surgery to stop unbearable pain but I am soo afraid. I feel like such a coward but I cant face it and each day is more difficult. I have no hand to hold and no reassuring words just my own terrible fears to face alone. Love you xx Col.
Oh, Krista. What an inspiration you are!! You truly are a bright spot in my life, a spot that ever time I visit I leave happier and with a smile. Your photography is “good stuff”, truly amazing. Such beautiful photos. I really can’t wait to visit you someday. I speak of you often to the kids when we talk about weather or summer arriving. I tell them about the weather on the other side of the world and these beautiful photos that come from a friend I have in Australia.
I’m wishing you the best for your procedures, and I do hope that you can come to a resolution soon. I’m so happy the doctor is gentle and kind… it makes all the difference, doesn’t it? Please know we are thinking of you!!
XOXO
I’m so sorry to hear you have to have some procedures but it does sound like you’ve found a very lovely doctor who will take great care of you and then you’ll have Bear by your side as well. As usual, I enjoyed looking at your farm images very much xx
Your gumboots always make me smile. Here’s to a speedy recovery that gets you out in the paddocks again for your sunrise x
Sending you ALL the love, strength and well wishes. Feel better quick smart you hear. Love your positive attitude, love the way you are finding the wonderful things in your world, it makes the hard stuff easier to deal with. Got me a bad head cold this week, so I am grateful for my Momma cooking me meals and looking after me.
Thinking of you! And I’m glad you’re still finding the sunrise in all of this.
That’s one great “bulleting” your blessings, Krista! Enough reasons to smile the whole day 🙂 Not to mention the charming sunrise in your place…what more can one ask for?
Julie
Gourmet Getaways
So much good here – I want to quote it all. Warm thoughts and prayers as your healing journey continues. May you continue to see the beauty along the way.
Sorry to be a bit late arriving here, Krista. Thank you for this beautiful post. I hope all goes well for you with the forthcoming procedures.
As I take up my knitting, each stitch will be a prayer to you and your health. Take care Krista.
I’m a puddle of tears after reading this, Krista. I’m so sorry about the setbacks and just more ick but so glad that you feel good about the doc and that you have a good perspective to go forth with.
Be Your Own Sunrise. I love that.
My good things this week were hiking in the mountains and getting to go on a kayak ride with some of my sibs and Jared while my Mum watched our girls. So fun and so refreshing. =)